Kuya Kim opens up on grieving daughter Emman: ‘She didn’t die in vain’

Trigger warning: This article discusses sensitive topics, including mental health and self-harm.

Metro Manila, Philippines -Television host Kim “Kuya Kim” Atienza opened up about the pain of losing his daughter, Emman, and how his family has been coping in different ways following her passing.

In an emotional interview with veteran journalist Jessica Soho, Atienza reflected on his family’s journey through grief and the faith that continues to keep them grounded.

Atienza said he believed in a deeper purpose behind his daughter’s death.

“Nung namatay si Emman, kasi we know that Emman's sick and she had a few attempts in the past, and my prayer to the Lord every single day was for this not to happen. For Emman to be safe, for Emman to be happy, for Emman to heal, yet this happened,” he said.

“And I know that nothing happens as an accident, and I know all things work out well. Everything's planned by the Lord. I know this is not in vain, Emman did not die in vain. May dahilan, at ang dahilan ay maganda. That gives me peace.”

[Translation: When Emman died - we knew she was sick and had made a few attempts in the past - my daily prayer to the Lord was for this not to happen, for Emman to be safe, happy, and healed. Yet it happened. But I know nothing happens by accident, and all things work out as planned by the Lord. I know this is not in vain. There is a reason, and that reason is beautiful. That gives me peace.]

Atienza said each family member has been grieving in different ways. His wife, Feli, has found strength in keeping herself busy, while his children have remained composed.

“Malakas si Feli, Feli is a very strong woman. Ang way of coping ni Feli is very busy taking care of the details of the wake, sa pagligpit ng bahay. Galing kami sa LA ng ilang araw. That's what keeps her sane and keeps her not grieving too much. Si Jose, siya 'yung tumulong sa LA. Siya 'yung lumalakad ng mga papeles doon. Doon na kasi nakatira sa America 'yun. Eliana is strong as well. I raised very strong kids,” he continued.

[Translation: Feli is strong, a very strong woman. Her way of coping is keeping busy—taking care of the details of the wake and tidying the house. We came from LA for a few days. That’s what keeps her sane and helps her not to grieve too much. Jose helped in LA with the paperwork since he’s based there now. Eliana is strong as well. I raised strong kids.]

“Even Emman I thought was very strong, but I didn’t know that deep inside she was also suffering, kasi she put up a very strong front, a very happy front, and she was in pain,” he said.

[Translation: Even Emman, I thought she was strong. But deep down, she was suffering. She put up a brave, happy front - but she was in pain.]

Atienza said the family had long known about Emman’s mental health struggles but kept it private to protect her.

“We were keeping that secret nalaman namin detalye ‘yan when she had attempted in the past, she had post-traumatic stress disorder. We kept that a secret because we wanted to protect her. Nagulat na lang kami nung biglang nilabas niya sa interview…She openly talked about it on her TikTok, in her guestings. We thought she was okay despite her pain,” he said.

[Translation: We were keeping that secret. We learned the details when she had attempted in the past - she had post-traumatic stress disorder. We kept it secret because we wanted to protect her. We were surprised when she started talking about it in interviews and on TikTok. She was open about it, so we thought she was okay despite her pain.]

Ahead of her death, Emman sent a message to her mother saying she needed help.

“Two days before that, we knew that there was a problem. She texted her mommy sabi niya, ‘Mom, I’m in an emergency right now but worry not, there’s no self-harm but I need to go to a therapy center.’ ‘Yun ang message sa amin,” he said.

“We tried calling her, hindi sumasagot. The next day, we tried calling her again, hindi na naman sumasagot. So ayun, I was in the Philippines, Feli was in Florida, meron siyang pickleball championship. The next morning, may message si Feli, ‘I have terrible, terrible news.’ Alam ko na. Nanlambot ang tuhod ko, napaluhod ako. Sabi ko, ‘Lord, ito na.’”

[Translation: Two days before, we knew there was a problem. She texted her mom saying, ‘Mom, I’m in an emergency right now, but don’t worry, there’s no self-harm. I just need to go to a therapy center.’ That was her message to us. We tried calling her, no answer. The next day, still no answer. I was in the Philippines, Feli was in Florida for a pickleball championship. The next morning, Feli messaged me, ‘I have terrible, terrible news.’ I already knew. My knees went weak; I knelt on the floor. I said, ‘Lord, this is it.’]

Emman passed away in late October in Los Angeles, California. She was 23. The young artist and content creator had been open about her mental health journey and her experience with trauma, inspiring many through her advocacy for kindness and compassion.

Atienza said he has found comfort in seeing how his daughter’s story continues to touch others.

He said that despite the pain, he takes pride in how Emman’s story and advocacy have reached global audiences.

“Alam mo ba, ‘yung anak ko, si Emman, was in The New York Times, she was in TMZ, Entertainment Tonight,” he said. “Painfully, I was reading the comments, all the articles, but what’s good about it is they wrote about what she stood for - which is a little kindness. Kumalat ‘yun eh. A little kindness. A little kindness. Emman was so kind. Napakabait nung batang ‘yan. Sobra.”

[Translation: Do you know, my daughter Emman was featured in The New York Times, TMZ, and Entertainment Tonight. It was painful reading the articles, but what’s good is they wrote about what she stood for - a little kindness. That spread. A little kindness. Emman was so kind, such a good kid. So good.]

Still, Atienza admitted the pain is unbearable.

“Kahit bigyan mo ako ng cancer, okay eh. Titiisin ko ‘yan. Madali ‘yung physical pain, titiisin mo ‘yun eh. Pero ‘yung mamatayan ka ng anak, masakit. Masakit. Hindi mo alam saan galing ‘yung sakit. Masakit lang,” he said.

[Translation: Even if you give me cancer, that’s okay. I can bear that. Physical pain, I can endure. But to lose a child - it’s a pain you can’t describe. It just hurts.]

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, help is available.

NCMH Crisis Hotline (National Center for Mental Health)

SMART / TNT: 0919-057-1553

GLOBE / TM: 0917-899-8727

Landline (Nationwide): 1553 or 1800-1888-1553

Online psychosocial support: www.ncmhusaptayo.com

You are not alone. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength.